“does waiting really make us better people?
take those fuckin heels off its worth it girl
nothing is what I can picture you in
so take that fuckin dress off I swear you won’t forget me
you’ll be happy that you let me lay you down down down”—Drake
I kind of feel like I can barely hang with people that I used to hang with this summer. Not saying that the people I hang out with right now are bad or anything, it’s just all these things have basically taken up my life. I basically only have like early mornings and friday - sunday nights. I kind of miss hanging with people like Charles, Michelle, and Megan. I feel like I don’t have a lot of time to spend with people like them. Why must you consume my life cross country and basketball!? Not saying those things are bad but still :P I really don’t know where I’m going with this. I guess all I’m really trying to say it that I wish I had more time in the day.
People always ask me why I sag my pants, well it's simple.
My pants sag because well my ass just doesn’t fit that part of the pants. I have some pretty long legs, which sometimes require a bigger sized pants than what I should wear, sadly I don’t have a ass so I cannot fulfill my pants. They say sagging is just not right on some girls, well sorry but my ass doesn’t fit the pants. Well yea, now you guys know.
my sister goes around the house bragging how she does so much around the house, when all she does is wipe the dust off one dresser -_- my grandma does way more shit and she doesn’t go bragging around the house, and she does all the shit everyday. My sister only wipes the dust off when she needs to go somewhere. And on top of all that, my sister broke my ps2 :P CACK DAMMIS why cant the girl just learn when to just get the fuck off.
My little sister has gotten super bitchy this week. Just cause she “graduating” from 8th grade, she thinks she can act like the shit to everyone in this house. Crying over the fact that my mom didn’t want to give her money to go to olive garden on wednesday. Like seriously, get the fuck over yourself. I didn’t really think commencement in 8th grade was that big of a deal. I ended up going to the block and walking around with some people from santiago that day actually. I didn’t expect anyone to buy me gifts or anything, it was just leaving middle school. I feel like my sister’s year, they try so hard to be older than everyone else, like they try to be seniors. The way they dress, the way they talk, the way they act. It’s like most of them think being in the 8th grade makes you the shit to everyone else in the world. I’m not going to lie, I had my moments where I thought I was on top, but it was more like on top in the middle school society. Just think you’re better than a sophomore just cause you’re graduating from middle school. Making a big deal out of everything. All this post comes from just a simple incident right now. I couldn’t even use the freakin bathroom cause you’re in the curling your fucking hair for nothing when everyone in the house has to wait on your stupid ass to finish curling your hair for nothing. Cause we all know that if we try to open that door, all you gonna do is scream and cry. Which you did, you yelled in my fuckin face for what? I need to get my shit out of the bathroom to, idk why you’re standing right in front of the door when the mirror is on the other side of the bathroom -_-
past couple years, some people tell me they feel sorry for me or that I should be wishing for my dad to re-appear on father’s day. Well honestly, I really do not care spending father’s day without a dad. My dad blew it since the day I was born. It’s his loss, not mine.
weirdest sexual encounter I see, well hrmmm. In the 5th grade, I was a tomboy, and so I hung out with the guys. We were all out by the field when apparently one of the guys “humped” me LOL this was just from the witnesses around us haha. I wouldn’t really consider it a “hump” but according to the guys around us it was haha.
The video I just reblogged seriously had me crying. Whenever I think of old people losing memory and what not makes me think of my grandma all the time. Yea, they say dementia is not always due to aging, but something tells me it does. I worry everyday that I might lose my grandma even more if she started to lose her memory. It’s really depressing to even think of it. My grandma has been there for me all my life, to lose her like this would seriously make me start crying, crap I even feel like crying while typing this. Yes, I want to go out in the world in the future, I want to explore, but I remember I used to tell my grandma that when the time comes, she cold live with me in the future. I would never want to put her in a home, that would be my last and final resort. She always tells me it’s okay, she doesn’t have to live with me in the future, but what if she just ended up alone one day, I just don’t want that. That’s probably one of the only things I ever pray for nowadays, to not lose her to memory loss. She may still be only 61 years old, but still, in about 30 years she will be 91 and I will be 46 years old. By then my mom and my uncles will be old to, as well as my grandpa. No one will be there to take care of my grandparents. I want to still be able to talk about the times when I was a kid with my grandparents when they even hit their 80’s. I want them to still be able to my kids about their own childhoods. The stories my grandma had growing up in Japan and my grandpa’s strict ways in the phillipines. It wouldn’t be the same coming from me.
If one day, I ever have to look in the eyes of my grandma but all I see is someone lost, confused, scared, I would start crying right then and there. To see those eyes would have to be a nightmare. To look into those eyes and see just nothing would probably be the end of everything that I thought is happiness. I know my grandma wouldn’t change who she is, I’m just mainly afraid of her being afraid of not being able to function throughout one single day without messing up. I just hope I won’t be one of the things she will forget when she becomes scared.