I sit here aggravated as fuck, why? Cause again you being a bitch to a little kid, and his mom doesn’t know how to handle the situation. But if I were to say another word, it would just be silenced from the problem at hand. My words wouldn’t matter. I have to suffer sitting here with so much anger. I think this is already the third post today about all this bullshit. I hear you twisting words again saying we blame everything on you. But are you really sure about that? Let’s look at the situation here.
You’re trying to sleep, you tell little bro to turn down the volume on his dsi, he does, you still get pissed off. He turned down the fuckin game, probably only thing that couldve been bothering you was the sound of him pressing buttons and the light from it. But thats not reason to be getting mad at him.
And you wonder why he exploded at you? It’s sad that even a 7 year old can comprehend the fact that you are a bitch. That you are out of line, that his own mom can’t do shit to save him. I find this all pretty sad. He even said that he can’t take it anymore, he can’t take all the bullshit you give him. He has even tried to run away from you. I have had to chase him down the street cause all he wanted to do was get away from it all. I don’t ever want to see that again just cause you don’t know how to treat a little kid.
crying, that’s your power. All you have to do is cry, and still she doesn’t tell you to shut the fuck up. You complain that your grandma twists your words, fuck you are the one twisting the story. She gets mad that i get involved, if I don’t get involved then who is. No one in this fuckin house has the balls to tell you off. No one but me, and I find that pretty sad. I hear you right now, you say I talk crap on you, so what if I talk crap on you, idgaf if you don’t talk crap on me, but it’s your actions. Again, I get in trouble, if that what it takes just so you can stop being a bitch then idgaf. If I were to cry, would it matter? No it wouldn’t. If you were to cry would it matter? Yes, it would, and you want to know why? Because no one wants to hear you cry, cause when you cry it’s just a bunch of bullshit. At this point, I don’t give a fuck if people do stupid shit to you. If people want to kick your ass then i’ll let them. If people think I’m messed up for saying that, then okay, I’m messed up. Who gives a fuck, you don’t know how she really is then. Serious shit just kick me out of this house already, I can’t stand it here anymore. If I were to just get up and leave, I bet she wouldn’t stop me. So why is it that I’m not leaving? Why is it that I’m still sitting here typing this shit? It’s cause I can’t leave. I’ve been in this house too long to just leave out of the blue. She told me to not go do my spanish project today, HAH and she wants me to succeed in school. I’m on the fuckin’ border line for spanish and this video could really boosts my grade. Man, she is just crazy. Seriously she doesn’t know how to take care of kids. I really don’t expect her to do anything for me as a mother anymore. She screwed that up long ago.
Bitch just stfu, you talk about wanting to hang out with her. Fuck no one wants to hang out with you, why the fuck don’t you understand that. All you do is bitch at everyone, and it’s ridiculous. She fuckin takes you out all the time when you want and you still get pissed when you are the one that asked for it. That is just ridiculous. Ughhhhhh I’m going crazy :P
why the fuck you yelling at your own grandma, like serious shit you have the balls to do that. You have the balls to call her stupid. Like seriously, you yell at little brother, you yell at me, you yell at every single fuckin’ person in this house, but to yell at your grandma is utter and complete bullshit. Gosh, my blog is starting to become a hate blog. You want respect in this house, well you blow it out the window every single day. Man, you don’t call someone that has taken care of you your whole life fuckin’ stupid and a liar. Man, that woman even takes care of your dog that you have neglected since the day you got him. I don’t give a fuck for getting in trouble for telling you to shut up. At least i have the ball to tell you to shut up, that’s where our mother messed up. She doesn’t know how to tell her own daughter to shut up when the time is right. I now could care less about your well being now at this point, yes, i said it. Now you really need to watch your back by yourself. People probably think it’s immature of me to say all this shit about you since you are younger than me, but i don’t care anymore. They don’t really know how you really are. Walk around around the house pushing people around like they are your slaves, well you need a wake up call. you are just a fuckin’ idiot. And she says I act like dad. Pfttttt when really, it’s you.
Is it really that bad that you have to go and make an ass out of yourself? You know I was going to protect you, but now you just ruined it. I let it go when you beat me down, talked your shit on me to our own mom, push our little brother. But now you just killed it. I really do not want to associate myself with anymore. She wonders why I do not want to go out with you guys, well it’s pretty simple, can’t have too many bitches together in one place, let alone a house. You want me to pack m shit and leave, then just say it, wait, you have. So why is it that I haven’t really left yet, well for the sake of my little brother, that’s why. You got to start everything at a younger age, yet you are not satisfied. You say you are grown up when really you still are just a little kid. I’m not saying that I’m grown up but I am going to say that I am more mature than you. So why am I lowering myself to write this. I am just at this point where I need to vent all this shit out. I got all this shit inside of me. Yes, our lives are corrupted, everyone’s lives are corrupted. HAH! She says she is tired of hearing all this bullshit and crap from us, yet she has not figured out that all this was from her. She says that she didn’t grow up like this, well we did. You might not have grown up like this, but you showed us this lifestyle every single day as we were growing up, this is how we grew up. I’m not saying it is fully your fault, yes we can make choices, it’s just that these are the only choices I know how to make. Yea, you are probably reading this saying, "What is she saying? Everyone can make their own choices!" Yes, you may be right, but everyone makes choices from a list of options. You say I have pushed you away, well I have. I push you away so that I wouldn’t have to live with bullshit. Only reason I am still here is because if you sent me out it would be illegal and you could get in trouble. I wouldn’t want you leave your precious boyfriend. You always wonder why your own son listens to me more than you, well it’s simply because I have been and always will be there for him. At this point, I really think people these days have to earn the title mom. Well mainly you. Ahhhhh I don’t know. Every day, chemistry teacher tells me that I have a caring mom. Pfttttt if only she knew what happens at home. She thinks you’re caring only because you call all the time about my grades. If only she really knew why you call about my grades. All my teachers think I should stop doing sports and asb. Honestly without those things what would I go home to every day right after school? I would be going home to more bullshit. I like staying after school to run, to shoot, to go to skit practices, these things give me something to look forward to. Yes, these things come with their own little drama, but not as much as the drama I would get from home. The earlier I go home, the more bullshit added to my day. I’d rather be homeless and barely eat then be at this so called home. Yes, I know what you’re thinking "this ungrateful bitch" well I don’t give a fuck. So what if I’m an ungrateful bitch, rather be that than live in a hell hole. Fuck, you get mad at me for even putting my shit in different places around the house. I wouldn’t want to leave my shit in different places either since it my grandparents house, but what other choice to do I have. You have your own fuckin room, you won’t even share it with your son, let alone the rest of your kids. So don’t get mad at me, and tell me to look at you and try to tell me how you have all your shit organized. You have a fuckin room. I would seriously live in a cardboard box if that means having my OWN space. Sadly all this shit I’m saying right now ain’t even half of what I have to say. Sad isn’t it. All this shit has been said to your face, but you are so blinded by your own ambitions. If you don’t the responsibility of being a mom then just say it, cause I really won’t give a fuck. Main reason I’m pissed is because you just won’t fuckin say it. We all know you don’t want this, why are you hiding from the truth dammit!?
So like June 4th, my grandparents were going to let me have a party in the backyard to celebrate my 16th birthday, yea i know it’s late but my grandma was in japan :P Anyways, yea unfortunately can’t have one anymore. Kind of made me sad since i haven’t really had a birthday party in like forever. Let alone, one with friends :( I’m not saying i needed the party, but it would’ve been nice to have a party to celebrate turning 16. I’m not going to lie, when i was a little kid, I couldn’t wait for the day I turned 16, i remember imagining me having this big party with all family and friends. I actually had put it on my goal list when i was 10. Immature right? Ehhhh a kid can dream can’t they. I’m not saying that the way i spent my birthday wasn’t great. In fact it was amazing. I got to spend it with the people that I trust the most in this world. And it was just fun with them at disneyland, I wouldn’t have asked for a better birthday. I don’t know, I was just looking forward to having one of my life goals completed.
A person told me today that the best team at our school is the wrestling team. I’m not going to lie, it kind of hurt me. Only reason being the fact that our cross country as well as tennis, and etc. are pretty successful as well. It’s just the way he put it. That our school only gets far in wrestling just cause the wrestling program has gone to state before. Santiago has also been known for a pretty decent football/baseball program as well. I’m not saying that our wrestling team sucks or anything, in fact I’m proud at the fact that they made it really far with CIF and all. However, the way he said it, and he kind of put down the other sports at our school was kind of sad yet pathetic. I understand being confident in the sport that you do, but is it really necessary to put down other sports that don’t achieve the same greatness as yours? Ahhhhhh this just kept bugging me all day.